This might just be real!

Got word today that your birth mom made it to Bethel. There was so much fear and anxiety these past few days because of the thought that she might not make it out of Alukanuk.  She was supposed to fly out two weeks ago but kept running into issues.  Snowstorms, flight delays, COVID lockdowns, and more.  I can’t explain the peace I felt once Myrlice told me your birthmom touched down safely in Bethel.  She is where she needs to be.  She is safe.  You are safe.  I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards her.  The sacrifices that she has gone through these past few months to ensure your safe arrival into this world may not be one that I will ever experience... but I will be forever grateful for her. Aunty Trayse and Aunty Tarsha were with me when I got the news.  I’m always so thankful for their presence. They’re usually around me whenever I get news.  Good news, sad news etc. etc. I’m so thankful that auntie Tracy was here. She has...

The last two days have been hectic, but we've still been able to focus on getting things ready for Mahonri.  As I sit here writing this, I regret not taking a photo with everyone.  I guess it'll just have to be one of those things that lives in my memory instead.   After our pizza night, I got a message from Yaya saying that she wanted to join us the next time we do anything for Baby.  I was surprised and Happy.  Since the brothers and I had already planned to have dinner Friday night, I invited her to join us.  Friday night we were able to hang out and sort through some of Mahonri's clothes.  Can you believe he already had 5 loads of laundry?  I was baffled.  I knew my house was filling up with baby stuff because people kept bringing stuff over.  But I didn't realize how much stuff he truly had until we went through it on Friday.  Clothes, burp clothes, swaddles, onesies, receiving blankets, mink blankets, socks, shoes, hats, ...

 I'm not crying... but I might cry.  I stopped blogging in 2013 because life just became too hectic.  But since finding out about Mahonri, I've been blogging a lot more.  However, today, I decided to read through some of my older blog post.  This one brought tears to my eyes.  I remember this conversation like it was yesterday.  Mom's excitement, TJ's screams.  Every reason for me to fear this adoption written in an old blog post.  Every memory of the heartache that is possibly waiting for me around the corner.  Yet, here I am... still excited... still waiting... For Mahonri.  If you want to read the old post from 2011, click on the link below. http://tjdora.blogspot.com/2011/12/athena-persephone-mahonri.html Missing my sweet Queen every moment of every day. Craving her comfort these days more than I ever have before.  But knowing without a shadow of doubt in my mind that she is working her magic on the other side of the veil t...

 This process has been a great lesson in humbling myself.  TJ and I are so used to doing things on our own.  So coming to the realization that we may need more financial help than we have the ability to provide for ourselves was a bit humbling.  Today, your uncle Jason opened a Go Fund Me account to help raise funds for our trip to Alaska.  As hard as TJ and I worked on the bake sale and plate sale, the amount we made just isn't enough to cover the cost of what we need.  I'm torn.  My pride makes me ashamed to ask for financial help because I don't want to be a charity case.  But my desire to NOT make money be the only thing stopping me from adoption trumps the shame I feel in asking for help. At this point Mahonri, I will do anything to make sure you come home.  I'm so grateful for your Uncle Jason and this thoughtful gesture.  The summary he wrote on the go fund me made me cry.  The pains of the past will be but a memory once you ...

Today was such a great day.  After work, TJ and I went over to Adonijah & Jayde's to start working on Baby's Changing Table.  With Adonis already over there, we started sanding and putting the first coat of paint on baby's table.  It was the first time in months that Adonijah, Adonis, TJ, and Myself all occupied the same space together.  As we realized that we needed more supplies, we all hopped in the car and headed to Home Depot.  After spending nearly an hour window shopping for things we didn't need, we realized we were hungry.  We grabbed some Pizza, then went to our old park by house #8, and had a picnic in the dark.  We sat there with our phone flashlights, eating and reminiscing on memories of happier times.  We laughed about the first time we went to that park with Peipei.  Talked about everything going on with Baby.  Got an update from Adonis on everything he'd been going through.  We were supposed to spend the night w...

There are moments sometimes when I feel like Mahonri and his Grandma's are screaming at me for taking too long.  Almost as though he's telling on me.  LoL.  Then there are moments where I get overwhelmed by how much we have left to prepare for his arrival.  Each time though, right before my emotional breakdown, I genuinely feel like Mahonri sends me earthly angels to help me chill out.  Last weekend I was planning on driving to Arizona to pick up a crib and more baby stuff from Shantel.  But it just didn't work out.  I don't know who I thought I was trying to do all that after cooking all day.   Anyhow, we were able to find a changing table and a crib for baby here locally.  Although used, both were still fairly new and still in really great condition.  Finding them felt like a steal and after talking to their previous owners about our journey, they were like, "You know what, just take it."  So I did just that.  The crib w...

We did it again.  We had another fundraiser.  This time we sold plates.  After the bake sale, I really didn't want to.  But our awesome resident managers here Jadee, Kristin, and Abby talked us into it.  These three really have no idea how much their support and random conversations with TJ and I mean.   We sold out of 150 plates in less than 3 hours.  No one was more amazed than I was.  We had so much more support this time around.  I reconnected with Karly Kleiner and Jillian Ballard and they practically blasted my post to all of St. George.  I wish I had a chance to meet and talk with everyone, but with the Governor mandate to limit group settings, I didn't really have that opportunity.  So many faces I didn't know came by.  When I asked how they heard about us, most of them said the same thing.  They said, "I saw a post about it on Facebook."  My heart was full.  I got to meet a lot of people who told me...

The one name that we can agree on.  We were told that baby is most likely going to be a boy.  So while contemplating what to call him, the one name we can agree on is Mahonri.