This might just be real!

 To say that today was an exhausting day would be an understatement.  Last night, Adonijah, Jayde, Tarsha, TJ, and I got down and dirty in our little apartment kitchen.  I am overwhelmed by the love and support we have gotten for our little bake sale.  If I never make another pan of cinnamon rolls in my life again, I will be okay with that.  TJ and I feel so blessed to have so many friends and family members who came through to support.  Many were surprised we were adopting.  Some thought we already had kids.  Some joking that we were late bloomers.  We saw so many people from our old Student Married ward.  Many with multiple children already.  As TJ and I collapsed into bed tonight, we couldn't help but cry tears of gratitude.  So many people sending messages of love.  So many women sharing their own struggles with infertility.  Too many people who understand the same heartbreak. As we prepare to enter the month of g...

Coming down from that high of being one step closer to our dreams of parenthood, reality started to step in.  TJ and I sat in bed tonight and realized that we only had 5 weeks to get ready to go to Alaska.  I was so excited on Wednesday to get baby that when I was asked if we could be in Alaska by the beginning of December, I immediately said Yes.  Without hesitation, as though I can just drop everything and go.  While talking about how we were going to make this work financially, we realized that we just gotta get it done.  So we decided to have a bake sale. I just posted this on facebook like an hour ago.  Super random I know.  We didn't even tell anyone we were adopting or considering adopting.  Oh well.  Guess they all know now. 😂

Hello Complete Meltdown... This morning was not cute.  TJ and I have been on cloud nine since our call on Wednesday, but I can't help but be scared, frustrated, anxious, and tired. Scared - as great as the news was, I couldn't help but compare it to the last 3 times.  This is the closest we've gotten to getting a baby.  Is this real life?  When was the cloud going to disappear?   Frustration - I wanted so badly to talk to my Mom.  Then as I sat there, I thought about how my Mom so desperately wanted a grandchild.  I thought about all the moments I wished I could call her to tell her that we were pregnant.  I cried at the thought of never being able to tell her that she was going to be a grandmother. Anxiety - Am I trippin?  What the hell is wrong with me?  Why am I thinking the worst?  Do I need to get medicated?  DAMMIT DORA CALM DOWN! Tired - Shanny called.  We talked.  I calmed down.  LoL.  It felt...

Got the surprise call of my life today.  Myrlice called and asked if I had a second to talk.  I didn't really because I was doing a zoom training with my new hire class at the time, but I said Yes anyway.  The tribal council that she told me was going to be hard to gather together was gathered.  Within 4 days, we got approval from the tribal council to adopt our baby.  The conversation went by so fast I did have time to process anything.  It was short and long at the same time.  Before I could register much of anything, I heard, "the baby is due mid December.  <_____> will bring all the adoption documents with her to the hospital for you to sign.  Make sure you and your husband bring your ID's ok?"  I said ok and got off the phone.  I immediately just started crying.  OMG... SHIT JUST GOT REAL!   As I sat there trying to gather my emotions, I couldn't help but think about the fact that TJ was finally going to be...

Today was a great day.  Trayse came to town and we got to meet her new boo thang for the first time.  His name is Jordan.  Since we had Osi, Pei, and Ena with us, we decided to go out to Cedar Breaks and enjoy the scenery.  On our way there, we got a phone call from Myrlice (Durstin's Mom).  She is our connection to the Native American Tribe in Alaska that we are adopting from.  She spoke to me about how she was contacted by the birth mother who was looking to adopt her baby out to the Hooper family.  Since the Hoopers are family to us... we qualified.🙌 Myrlice told me the situation that the birth mother was in and how we got to this point.  She confirmed that we in fact were going to be the ones adopting this baby and that the birth mom was onboard.  Only caveat is that with Native American adoptions, we needed to get approval from the Tribal Council before we can officially adopt.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry a little at this ...

TJ and I were minding our business, driving around St. George, catching Pokemon.  On the way home, Durstin called.  Typical conversation starter.  How you doing?  Where ya'll at? etc.  Then Durstin says, "We have a situation I wanted to talk to you and Dora about.  Would you guys be willing to adopt a baby from a Native American Tribe in Alaska?"  Our first reaction was... Where? Then of course we said, "Yes.  Absolutely!"  TJ and I have been down this road before so we didn't want to get our hopes up.  We were on the 15 freeway driving home when we said goodbye to Durstin.  We were silent.  We were excited but didn't really want to admit it.  TJ pulled over to the first gas station we could find and we sat in silence for a few minutes.   Both of us super excited! Both of us refusing to get too excited because we've been down this road before and know we probably can't handle the heartache again.  Both of us...